Sex never goes as seamlessly or as smoothly as we had planned. More often than not, things will happen that will draw our attention away from the matter at hand. Things like muscle cramps, farts, funny noises, poo, accidently calling out your ex-partners name… the list is honestly endless. All of the above are in the realm of normal when it comes to sex and are nothing to feel any shame or embarrassment over. We’ve pulled a bit of information together to help you out when things go wrong during sex.
What a bloody mess..
It’s not uncommon to experience some tearing and bleeding during a sex session, there’s delicate tissue down there. Bleeding can occur from any type of friction or penetration of soft tissue. So, when you think about the amount of friction that occurs during sex or foreplay - it’s no wonder sometimes our bodies may develop some tearing.
Ways to lessen the chances of bleeding during sex:
LUBE: Using plenty of lube any time anything enters any part of your body will help to lessen the chance of friction and tearing. Lube is also your first defense against condoms breaking. Water-based or silicone-based lube doesn't erode latex condoms and is best used when having penetrative sex, whether you’re using a condom or not.
Although it may be attractive and more readily available, using other forms of liquids and creams as lube it is not recommended. Here is a list of lubes to AVOID:
- Saliva - You may think saliva is ok to use as a lubricant because we leave saliva behind when we perform oral sex, but it is not safe to be inside someone else’s body for an extended period. It also dries out very quickly and is not effective in reducing tearing.
- Vaseline - erodes condoms, causing them to break and can lead to infection.
- Any kinds of oils or creams could lead to infection or burning and break down a condom.
- Any dairy products e.g., butter or yoghurt - if not correctly cleaned this can spoil and lead to infection. Any form of dairy may also break down a condom.
What to do if a condom breaks?
Even if you’ve made sure your condom is in date and you’ve used your first line of defense against condoms breaking (lube), condoms are still not 100% break proof. We know this can be a scary thing to happen, so there are a few simple rules to follow if you find yourself in this situation.
- Once you become aware of the condom breaking/tearing in any way, stop what you’re doing immediately.
- Withdraw from any penetration.
- Take off the broken condom, replace with a fresh and in date condom and reapply a water/silicone-based lube.
- Get back to it!
- After your sex session, book for an STI test and go to an emergency department within 72 hours of the condom breaking to get PEP if you don’t have another line of defence against HIV transmission (PrEP/U=U). The sooner you start PEP the better, it’s most effective within the first 24 hours.
Poo
Poop happens allll the time. Let’s set the scene. You and your partner have been getting hot and steamy for some time, the mood is right and you’re feeling yourself. You enter your partner and withdraw and BAM - shit everywhere. This a scene that has carried on since the dawn of time. Shit happens, and it is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to let your partner know what has happened and reassure them that everything is ok. Just clean up as soon as possible so you can get back on with it. Again, there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, so be gentle with yourselves.
Douching!
If you want to minimise the chance of poop being present during anal, you could douche. It isn’t fool proof, but it’s a big help. Douching is the art of filling a tube with a solution that could include water or saline, inserting the solution into the anus, holding it, and then releasing the liquid and any poop that may be in the colon at the time. This helps to flush things out and will help you to feel a little more confident that poo won’t be a part of the sex you’ll be having.
There are a couple of safety tips you need to be aware of though:
- Always use the appropriate equipment and liquid. Don’t be tempted to use things from around the home. A wide range relatively inexpensive douching equipment is available online or at chemists.
- It is recommended that you do not douche every day.
- The safest solution to douche with is saline solution and can be purchased from a chemist.
- Go slowly when inserting the liquid and always use a lubricant when you are inserting anything into your anus.
Fibre Fibre Fibre
Another form of preparation we can take to minimise the risk of poop being presenting during our adventures is educating yourself on fibre and how you can incorporate it into your diet.
Firstly, there are two types of fibre, insoluble and soluble. Ideally, you would incorporate a nice mixture of both kinds into your diet. Consider limiting insoluble fibre 24 hours prior to having sex. Insoluble fibre has the job of ‘sweeping out’ the colon and includes things like skins of fruit and vegetables, bran, oats and popcorn-to name just a few. During a bowel movement, some of the insoluble fibre products are left in the colon which could be dislodged during sex.
If you limit the amount of insoluble fibre in your diet 24 hours before, you have less chance of poop coming out when you least want it to.
For more information on safety tips and tricks when douching visit here.
For more information on how fibre can support your anal preparations visit here.