So, you’ve gone to go and get a sexual health test, and it has come back with a positive result. We know that receiving this news isn’t always fun, but remember that you are not alone. Around 16% (or 1 in 6) of all Australian’s have had an STI in their lifetime – that’s a lot of people! So, when we say you aren't alone, we mean it. Once you’re on treatment (usually straightforward), the next step is to tell the people you’ve had sex with in the last three months, or since your last test. This can be daunting, but all you need is a bit of preparation and some courage in your back pocket.
Most STIs are sneaky and don’t have any symptoms. So, letting your sexual partners know that you have an STI is really important. Time is of the essence here and telling them sooner will allow them to get the treatment they require ASAP but will also potentially stop them from passing it on to others unknowingly.
There is still a lot of stigma and misinformation surrounding STI’s and their treatments, so it’s understandable that you might feel worried in telling people about your diagnosis. By having the courage to speak about your experience and letting your partners know, you will be keeping the community safe and help to normalise the conversation around STI’s. There should be absolutely no shame in testing positive for any STI or BBV and there are a lot of services and people here to help.
If you feel like you will be unable to personally let your sexual partners know of your diagnosis - head over to Let Them Know or The Drama Downunder. Both websites provide anonymous SMS and email notification options. When you have provided your partners details and choose to SMS them, they will receive a message that looks like this:
You’ll also find tips for talking to someone in person about it on Let Them Know.
Another website to checkout is Tell Me, a platform created by Burnett Foundation Aotearoa. This is a cute text generator that you can populate with all sorts of relationship dynamics, STI’s and whether or not you want to hook up with them again. It looks a little like this:
If you have decided that telling them face-to-face or over the phone is the best option, we have a few tips to help you navigate this:
- Try not to use language that implies blame or fault, for example you could say ‘I’ve tested positive’, or ‘I’ve been diagnosed with…’
- Try not to be overly emotional or positive - factual is best.
- Try to get it over and done with quickly, the longer you leave it the harder it will become and the more chance the other person has of passing it on, if they are positive.
- Make sure to check in with the person prior to telling them to make sure it’s a good time to talk.
Here’s a great video on how to disclose your status to someone head over to ‘How to tell someone you have an STD’ - an American publication.
If you have recently been diagnosed with an STI or BBV, please know that there is nothing for you to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Like we said, many people get diagnosed every year and by you being brave enough to tell your sexual partners and practicing safer sex practices, you are doing all you can to ensure that your community stays safe - we commend you!