A beat can be a gathering, outdoors or otherwise, where people of varying sexualities, identities, ethnicities, and abilities come together to share connections that can be both intimate and personal or neither, but usually with some sexual overtones. Beats are often in areas of a town or city that you are already familiar with but didn't know had a secret and sexy world awaiting. The thought of attending a beat for the first time can be both exciting and daunting. To make sure you have a sexy time, we have pulled together some things to think about to keep you safer.
Where is everyone?
A great place to find a beat in your local area is to jump over to Squirt, an app (available on a browser or in-app) that will allow you to search beats in your area along with reviews of those beats, message boards and user profiles to browse. This is a free service, but you can upgrade your membership.
What do I wear?
Comfortable and weather appropriate clothes that are easy to get on and off. This includes comfortable and enclosed shoes, because no one wants to get down and dirty while feeling a rock in your shoe the whole time. Another practical reason is that if you need to leave in a hurry, you won't be tripping over your pluggers.
Intention Setting
While cruising in your car or waiting for someone to come along, it's an excellent opportunity to take some time and think about what you want from this exchange. For example, do you just want to give/receive head? Do you just want to watch? Do you want to kiss/not kiss? What are your hard ‘no's’? You don't have to have all the answers all at once, but thinking about some of your boundaries sets the foundation for a safer and sexier encounter for you and your partners. Plus, taking this time to do some deep breathing can help you centre yourself and help you to stay in control. Remember, if things don’t feel right, make a safety plan so you can leave at any point.
Condoms and water/silicone-based lube
Slippery sex is safer sex. Condoms, when used with a water-based lube (to reduce tearing) reduce your chances of contracting an STI or HIV. If you don’t know their STI status, use a condom, even if you are giving head - there is still risk when sucking dick without a condom. Take condoms and lube with you and always keep them on you. And remember, if you are exposed to HIV, head to an emergency department within 24 hours (72 hours at most) to get PEP.
Keep your possessions on you
Keep as little on you as possible. Put your phone (when you're not using it), car key, condoms and lube in your sock or boot/shoes. Don't take your ID with you. And listen out: don't wear headphones or earbuds.
On Premises
If the beats in your area aren't a vibe for you, you could also try a sex on-premises venue (SOPV) or 'sex club'. SOPVs or sex clubs are businesses/establishments where you visit and can connect sexually with other people within the safety of that establishment. Some establishments may require you to provide ID, and some do not.
What to do when it's all done and dusted
Beats are an area where aftercare isn't historically explored at length. It makes sense - who has the time? Well, you can make time! Aftercare can take lots of different forms and doesn’t always need to be post-sex talks or cuddling. Aftercare can include offering your contact details to someone for contact tracing if any STIs or BBVs are around, which is a great safer sex practice to get into. For more information about aftercare, including how you can look after yourself after going home from a beat, head to our Aftercare page.
Nerves
If you're feeling nervous or unsure, think about taking a friend along with you. Another tip is to visit the beat during the day without a plan to have sex or make connections. Visiting during the day without any pressure can help you to make a plan. This could help you feel more at ease when the time comes that you are ready to play.
Whether you are visiting a beat for the first time, exploring your sexuality, or wanting to do something thrilling, jump in and do it safely. But remember, if something doesn’t feel right when you arrive or during, you are free to leave at any time. Don’t stick around - trust your gut.